Podcast Episode: Setting Goals, Getting Influenced, Seeking Simplicity and the Mistakes I Have Made Along The Way

 

This podcast is sponsored by: Artkive Save $10 off the ARTKIVE box right now

As a mom of three kids it can be hard to “find myself” at times. In between the diaper changes, activities, and cooking some days can feel lost. I love these days, but sometimes setting a goal to chase after is just the medicine I need to feel more like my true self and to even be more present with my kids. 

I remember back when I started my parenting journey after having my first, and I had no creative outlet to pour into. I found myself wading through the new motherhood journey with a blind fold on all while being seriously sleep deprived in those first few months. A new transition that was definitely one of the hardest I had been through in my life both physically and mentally. 

I went from having a lot of personal time ( and for an introvert by nature that is really key to recharging my battery) to little to none as I struggled through breastfeeding and getting the hang of this motherhood thing. 

So fast forward years and 2 more kids later…I found a little secret that has helped me THRIVE in motherhood. I wanted to talk about setting goals as a mom, getting influenced, and all of the mistakes I have made along the way as I seek simple and live this life daily. 

I have spoken about my personal story here about having kids, living debt free, and on one income- if you want to go back and listen it was released a few weeks ago.

I had to bring that up because it was a huge moment for me as I set new goals, started paying attention to who my sphere of influence averaged out to, and my journey to simplicity. 

SETTING GOALS

I have a few fun stats on goal setting that I want to share:

It is said that people who write down their goals are 10x more likely to succeed

And 

Setting more challenging goals leads to achieving more, and it is said that 3 out of 100 adults actually write down their goals while it is said that 83% of people in the USA just don’t have any goals at all.

As a mom it is easy to put your own wants/needs/ and goals aside while pushing to help your children and family members toward their own goals. But wouldn’t it be really cool if your children and spouse could see you pushing toward your own goal? 

My challenge to you is to write down one goal you want to accomplish by the end of 2021. You have roughly 4 months- dream big- don’t hold back. For me personally I have written my goals down in my monthly planner and it reminds me what I am chasing. It is nice to write them in a place you see often. Don’t write it and tuck it away forever. 

Tell another person about it to keep you accountable and then really go for it with everything you have. I am also pushing in these last 4 months to complete my goals. We can do it together.

GETTING INFLUENCED

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn says, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Choose wisely. That’s right- the 5 people you spend the most time around are quite literally determining your success. 

When I think about it this way I think about it more seriously. Who do I want influencing myself- because this ultimately trickles over to my husband and my kids. Who do I want influencing my goals and my aspirations. My spending habits, and my thoughts? 

I think it is especially important outside of physical people to apply this to what you are listening to on the radio, what books you read or don’t for that matter, what shows and movies you watch, and what social media influencers you follow. 

Influence is huge. It paves a path for our lives whether we want to believe it does or not. Who is in your sphere? Maybe write down the 5 people (outside of your kids + husband) that you spend the most time with. 

Your sphere of influence is inter connected with setting goals and chasing your dreams. Protect that with everything that you have.

MISTAKES I HAVE MADE

My journey to simplicity was never on a yellow brick road, not always easy, and is constantly changing as I enter into new seasons of my life with my growing family. Some mistakes that I have made along the way stood out enough in my mind to want to share them with you in hopes that you don’t make those same mistakes.

Mistake #1

The first mistake I made when making a shift to a more simple life at the beginning was being too vocal about it. I was so excited. I knew this new lifestyle was exactly what my family and I needed. I wanted to tell everyone. Not everyone can identify with this type of living and some found it to be odd, weird, or even offensive. Which in turn offended me. I would be lying if I were to say that no relationships have been affected on my journey to simple. 

Quite the opposite actually. Well at least in the beginning. I wish I had kept my excitement to myself and decluttered quietly as well as reframed my consuming thoughts under the radar. I sort of without realizing it painted a large target on my back that was constantly getting hit with criticism, judgement, and hurtful comments from people. 

Now I obviously am vocal about it through my podcast, blog, and declutter course and after so many years of living a more simple and minimal lifestyle it has gotten much easier…. – but the beginning was hard on me and I did feel a lot of judgement and was hurt by comments and accusations from people in my circle.

Mistake #2

The second mistake I made while making a shift to live a more minimal and simple life was to not enjoy the process more and focusing too much on the actual physical belongings versus the overall process and mindset transformation. At the beginning we did a huge purge, and I decluttered so many belongings- it was almost embarrassing seeing the pick up truck of stuff drive to the donation center each time. Or the amount of Facebook marketplace deals I was doing. Simply too much. This was all stuff that had slowly been acquired over the years. It was my husbands stuff from before we were married and my stuff joined together to create more stuff. 

When we first got married before we moved away to AZ we held a huge garage sale and sold off a lot of unnecessary things- we moved down with a small Uhaul and our vehicles. As the years went on- our lives changed, jobs changed, incomes changed, and then family size changed. Little by little things were brought into our home here and there. It is normal. But when I made the shift initially to really being a more mindful consumer back in 2017 instead of just an expert purger it really got me all consumed. 

I would stress if my one in one out rule couldn’t be followed each time something new found its way into our home. I wish I could have just been a little more relaxed in the process and realized it is a long journey- but a doable one if frugality is a goal, saving is a goal, and consuming habits are thought hard about. It is so much more than just physical stuff- it is mental and emotional as well. 

Mistake #3 Getting rid of others belongings

I am totally guilty of this. I have stories to back it up. This primarily has affected my husband to which I have apologized more than once and promised to never do it again. I indeed did get rid of 2 things that were his without asking. I was annoyed by these things and he never used them. I figured they could bring us some good money and didn’t want to try and plead with him about it.

One of those things was a guitar and the other was an old dinosaur bike from the 1980’s with crank shifters. We still need to get him an upgrade for how much training he now does on that thing now. The guitar sat in our home and collected dust. No one in our entire family plays the guitar. It was truly just one of those items that truly served no purpose in our home but to take up a corner of an entire room. He still talks about it to this day-even though he has no desire to take up guitar. I still apologize to this day- and I really did learn my lesson to ask before decluttering or selling off any of his things. 

He has been really supportive in the lifestyle shift to living more simply and he really does notice the positive impact it has on all of us as a family. He declutters on his own when he feels like he needs to. It is really nice. We do see eye to eye on most things in this space. However, my type A gung ho personality of getting things done didn’t have the patience to ask when I wanted to purge. I do feel bad about that still. So when purging- always be respectful of the people in your family. 

Seeking a more simple life really falls into 3 categories for me:

1. Physical possessions and spending/consuming habits- AKA living within our means
2. Time on the calendar
3. Simplifying processes whether that is in the kitchen cooking whole foods, being in nature and enjoying simple pleasures versus ultimate entertainment, or even simple ways to stay in shape and healthy. 

Luke 12:15 says: Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed. Life does not consist in an abundance of possessions….

Want to learn more about cooking food from scratch?

Check out my YOUTUBE Channel

_________________________________________________________________________________

Enjoy This Podcast?

If you are enjoying the journey of seeking simple, share the Simple Life Project with your friends and hit that subscribe button!

You can contact me through my website! Leave a comment at the bottom of the page or at the about me section.

Thanks For Listening!